Taperworm Diaries – Entry #1

Some people have the deep misfortune to be struck with tapeworms in the brain. But there are those of us that are a lot luckier and only have to deal with taperworms. No one really knows how they get infected, but it is almost a guarantee that symptoms will begin 2-3 weeks before race day. The worm starts small – maybe you feel some butterflies when you think of the start line or casually wonder what you will wear for the run. As the days tick by, symptoms often get worse. The following is a diary entry from a patient with full-blown taperworm madness. Note that during the later stages, the victim will start bonding with her captor, Stockholm syndrome style.

Dear Diary,

My brain is not my own. I have found myself doing the following over the last week:

1. Checking the AccuWeather extended forecast daily and letting the temperatures dictate my mood-Ā  the upper 40s and warmer with sun= elated Kashi while cloudy with upper 30s to low 40s = nail-biting Kashi.

2. Looking forward to 11/9 when I could FINALLY see the 10-day forecast on no less than three weather websites.

3. Staring idly at this hypnotic wind map and wondering what Aeolus has in store for us. To be fair, staring idly at this map is something I do even when not infected with taperworms, but the difference is that I don’t usually look for hidden messages about how the race will go in its mesmerizing rivers of air.

4. Crying at anything even remotely emotional, including but not limited to, thinking about the NYC marathoners who will get the chance to run in Philly, scenes from Cloud Atlas, Sandy destruction, love I have for my sister, frustration during commutes and thinking that I was getting a cold (I was not -buuuut I probably just jinxed myself. Damn!).

5. Eating everything in sight, despite the fact I am running less. The taperworms need nutrition and I am happy to oblige but I am not sure my pants are on-board with this plan. However, the pants don’t wear the pants around here, so I continue to munch.

A starting line horn is the only known antidote so I just have to hold on for 9 more days. There is no escaping the taperworms, and truth be told I kinda like them. They remind me that despite the fact that this race means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things, it means an awful lot in my little scheme of things. So the taperworms and I will be strange bedfellowing it for the next week –Ā  we’ll have movie night (paging Spirit of the Marathon!) while we chow like queens on carbs and worry endlessly about weather and imaginary injuries.

-Kashi

How are your taperworms treating you?

What do you do in the days leading up to a race?

4 Comments

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4 responses to “Taperworm Diaries – Entry #1

  1. Tapeworms! Love this!

    Well, I couldn’t have said it better myself (including the part about 40s and sun; although I would prefer low 40s and sun as opposed to upper 40s and sun). šŸ™‚

    Overall, I’m feeling odd. My legs are still tired. This worries me. Of course, if I look back in my log before my previous two marathons, I always write the same thing right about now… legs feel tired. I write that every day just about up until race day. Me thinks it’s mental. I thought I was coming down with a cold earlier in the week. Perhaps it was just allergies b/c it’s gone now… or again, maybe it was all mental. Right on cue, I’m having a hissy fit over my shoes. I’ve made last minute shoe changes before both marathons, so this isn’t new for me. Yep, mental. I’m eating too much… I think. Or perhaps I’m not eating enough? Mental.

    I will also watch Spirit of the Marathon sometime this week. That will hopefully kick-start the butterflies. šŸ™‚

    We are all so unique when it comes to running… different plans, different nutritional approaches, different shoes, different preferences for temperature, courses, etc… but hot-dam if we all don’t have the same tapeworms!

    8 days!!!!

  2. Linda Kisiel

    You and Glen are going to have sich a wonderful time next Sunday. Hang in there with the taperworms. They are your friend this week. Last year, during my taper, I agonized about my foot injury. I twisted it about a week before. But on the day of the race, i was so excited and humbled to be able to run, I just did it. As one of my coaches told me. “Just put one foot in front of the other and all your training will come into play”. Smart girl, that Chris.

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